That night, at about eleven thirty, we took a cab down to TMC so that I could be admitted at midnight - cos that's when they start charging for the day. By the time I was led to the labour ward while Wayne was signing the documentation, it was already two plus when they inserted the tablet to induce labour. I couldn't sleep through the night cos my back was aching from the contractions that started. Wanted to wait for the gynae before turning to epidural so I just requested for the "laughing gas". It was a great experience because I prayed and I used the breathing method that Mdm Wong Boh Boi taught us during the antenatal class to manage the pain of the contractions. Although I really felt like cursing and swearing during the pain, and telling Wayne that this is the first and last time I'm going to have a baby, it was a triumphant feeling to know that the pain from the contraction was manageable. All this time, Wayne felt so helpless for he could see the pain I was going through yet there was nothing he could do for me, except to pray.
Waited for the gynae until nine plus in the morning and he burst my waterbag without giving me a warning. That must be the GREATEST pain I've ever experienced in my life! So I'm glad he didn't warn me at all. He checked and said "Good, one cm dilated already." After that, he asked if I wanted an epidural and fortunately another mummy had already called for one to come to the labour ward. Otherwise I could have waited much longer, like one to two hours.
After the epidural was set up (which I absolutely didn't feel a thing), I felt much better but realised one side of my body was still painful. At first, the nurse on duty said it's normal but when I voiced my complaint to another one, she tilted me to the other side so that the medication could flow downwards. It was then I felt relief in my whole body!! Wayne and I realised it's truly important who the medical staff on duty is. Those who are loving and truly care for the comfort of the patients make a great difference in their experiences in the hospital!
Periodically, nurses would come and check my dilation and by eleven plus, I was about 3 cm dilated. They pushed me to a private labour ward so that I could rest and wait for the dilation to continue. My gynae came to check me at about one and said "ok, 5 cm dilated. I'm going for lunch now, hopefully by the time I come back, we are ready to deliver the baby, ok?" Of course, he also explained that if not, we have to decide whether to insert another tablet or go for a c-section.
When he came back at four, to our disappointment, he announced that I'm still 5 cm dilated only. Apparently, there was no progress and he proposed we go for the c-section. I myself would not want to go through another tablet insertion as it was quite painful. Nevertheless, Wayne said my face looked like a sheet of white paper when the gynae advised I go for C-section and asked if we prefer GA or LA. So Wayne decided for me that GA is more suitable so that I didn't have to go through more trauma. It's been about 16 hours since we reached the hospital and I didn't look like I could go through a C-section consciously although Wayne would then be able to be with me.
So I went thru the op and in a nutshell (what I normally tell people my impression of it was): "Close eye, open eye, it's done." But of course, the side effect of it for me was severe shivering. When I came to, I was shivering like crazy and even when I was pushed into my one-bedder ward, and the air-con was not even switched on, I was still shivering. That was the first time I saw Jodie too. It was strange because I didn't really "fall in love" with her straight away, which was apparently fairly common, or so I've read. Probably I was physically too exhausted to feel an intense bond between the both of us. In fact, I didn't even get to carry her that night while all the visitors get to carry her :( Partly because I myself was worried about tearing my wound and that would make things worse eg. I would not get to care for myself for an even longer time etc. Being the clear-minded, practical me, I decided the most important thing was for myself to recover from this op soon and of course, worries about the impending pain kept me pre-occupied too. Fortunately, Wayne was there for Jodie immediately after her birth and filmed her first waking moments and she was absolutely sweet and adorable :) Thank you dear so much for the thoughtfulness! (Will try to upload her very first video on planet earth soon :)
It was many months later, when I was very much into attachment parenting, that I read that I should try to carry Jodie soon after her birth so that we could start forging the close bond between us. But then again, since it's a "done deal", I decided not to beat myself up over this. Afterall, Jodie is indeed very close to Wayne and I, and me particularly when she was younger due to the breastfeeding. I am still breastfeeding her now but she has grown much more independent and Wayne has been spending more time with her now so much so that she has formed a very unique relationship with her father :)
Anyway, these are our very first memories of Jodie, her birth, and our stay in TMC. Hehe, Jodie stood out amongst the other babies when we went to the nursery to collect her as we were discharged, mainly because her head was bigger than the rest :)
